What they don’t tell you about motherhood:
When a mother tells me that I should bathe my kids every night, that’s her opinion. When a mother tells me that my 2 year old should be potty trained by now, stress is created. When a mother tells me I am not teaching my kids the right way, it’s none of their business. When a mother tells me what to buy for my kids, she’s controlling. When a mother tells me how she is raising her child, she needs to have an open mind. When a mother compares, she is competing. When a mother criticizes, she lacks kindness in her heart. That’s part of motherhood.
When a mother has a messy home, please cut her a break. When a mother has stains on her clothes, be understanding. When a mother looks tired, lend a helping hand. When a mother does her best, she deserves appreciation. When a mother tells me, indirectly, that I should be doing a better job, she should know better. Society should know better.
In this day and age there are so many standards of what a mother should be. People expect the perfect housewife, to have a spick and span home, laundry done, dinner ready, and a pleasant smile on her face. She’s expected to be fit, thin and upbeat. She should be financially stable, emotionally stable, with a clear complexion and no bags under her eyes. Her children have the latest outfits, accessories, hairstyles, the cutest brand name shoes. But wait, her kids also must have the best behaviour on the block, they must be perfect. Overall, the perfect marriage and the perfect home.
All of these expectations can suffocate us, diminish our self confidence and lead us to question ourselves as mothers. There needs to be a healthy medium. No wonder it is not uncommon that thousands of women all over the world develop postpartum depression.
There are these images burned into our minds of celebrities looking fit and perfect after giving birth. Are we forgetting that they have millions to spend on a fitness trainer? Or prepared meals sent right to their door? Or the best nanny around to practically raise their children for them? Or the most expensive therapist to fix their marriage?
Forget about what people think of you, it’s impossible to please everyone. And why would you want to? It’s none of anyone’s business how you go about raising your children or you as a mother getting back on track. It is nobody’s concern which religion you choose for your child, how they learn to speak a certain way, as long as you know that you are teaching your child respect and kindness towards others.
You need to do what is right for you and your family. That’s what motherhood is all about. To accept what you have and work with what you have. You don’t have to impress society, you have to do what is right, what feels right and what makes you and your family happy. If you have questions, ask them. If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to ask for help.
Some of us have it easy and some some of us are legitimate supermoms that do everything on our own. But no matter how big or small our problems are, we should never be criticized for what we do. Everyone has their own story, their own problems and it’s okay to seek help when needed. We should be appreciated from every aspect. And maybe some of us can afford a nanny or a personal trainer, but nobody is perfect and we deserve to be accepted as women, as mothers.
I’ve learned that as a mother of two girls, there are plenty of ways to do things. And I find myself making mistakes along the way, which is normal in motherhood. We improve as mothers, we learn and we become better and stronger teachers. We are role models and if we want our children to appreciate things in life, we must teach them that less is more.
Live in the moment. Joke and laugh and have fun. Put away our cell phones and go outside and play with them. Let go of what social media pictures as the perfect mom. Go ahead and treat your kids to ice-cream once in a while, praise them when they do good, and encourage them to be the best they can be.
Do what is best for your kids, the best you can do, live it, discover what it really means to be a great mother on your own and bond with your kids. Stop focusing on what you aren’t doing and focus on what you are doing. Because you are doing the best you can and you don’t need to prove it.
Remind yourself of everything you are grateful for, before you ever fall into a rut or reach an all time low. You don’t deserve to have a dark day or fall into a dark place. Look around and see what you have. Remind yourself to stay positive and accept what you can and cannot accomplish as a mother, as a wife, as a human being. Smile and believe in yourself because you will get through it. You will get through motherhood.
If you enjoyed this, you may also want to read How to Live a Happy and Positive Life (5 Ways).